I keep telling young men between 18 and 24 the same thing. Slow down on relationships.

It is not because relationships are bad. It is because of what those years are actually for. If you want to build yourself in your 20s, this is the only window you get, and most men spend it chasing something that will still be available later.

The years between 18 and 24 are the freest you will ever be

Think about your current position honestly.

No rent depending on you. No children. No wife. Nobody’s future is attached to your decisions. You can fail on a Tuesday and try something else on Wednesday, and the only person who feels it is you.

That season never comes back. Once other people start depending on your income and your time, every decision gets heavier and slower. So the smart move is to use the light years to build capacity, not to take on weight early.

There are 5 areas that matter, and I want to walk through each one.

1. Build financial muscle

Most young men in Kenya learn about money after they already need it. That is backwards.

Use these years to learn 3 things. How to earn. How to save. How to handle money without somebody else’s needs pressing on every shilling you touch.

Earning is the first one because saving a salary you do not have is a waste of time. Get your income up first. Then learn to keep some of it, even when the amount is small, because the habit matters more than the figure at this stage. A young man who consistently saves 5,000 a month is building something a man who occasionally saves 40,000 is not.

Handling money is the third skill and it is the one nobody teaches. Knowing what to do when a friend asks for a loan. Knowing when a business idea is actually an expense. Knowing the difference between an investment and a gamble. You learn these by making small mistakes early, and small mistakes are only affordable when nobody depends on you.

2. Learn something that pays

Skills are the fastest route out of a tight financial position in Kenya right now, faster than a second degree and far faster than waiting on a job posting.

Pick something the market pays for. Web design, digital marketing, video editing, graphic design, data analysis, a trade, a craft. The category matters less than your depth in it. A man who is genuinely good at one thing will always out earn a man who is average at 6 things.

If you plan to monetise attention, build a personal brand alongside the skill. Content creation is not a skill on its own, but attached to a real skill it becomes a sales engine that works while you sleep.

Give it 12 to 18 months of serious work before you judge the results. Most people quit at month 3 and then tell everybody the thing does not work.

3. Build a network while you still have time to sit in conversations

Meet people who will matter later.

This is the part young men underrate because the return is invisible for years. The person you sit next to in a training room at 22 becomes the person who refers a client to you at 29. You cannot plan which one, so you simply have to be in the rooms.

Get into rooms above your level. Be the least experienced person in the conversation and stay quiet enough to learn something. It is uncomfortable, and that discomfort is the entire point.

The reason to do it now is time. At 21 you can spend a full Saturday at an event or a church group or a workshop. At 34 with a family and a business, that Saturday belongs to somebody else.

4. Work out what you actually believe

Most men carry a faith and a worldview they were handed rather than one they chose.

There is nothing wrong with what you were given, but it becomes yours only after you have examined it. Ask the hard questions while you still have the quiet to sit with them. Read. Argue with the text. Talk to people who see it differently.

A man who knows why he believes what he believes makes cleaner decisions under pressure, because his standards were settled before the pressure arrived.

5. Emotional capacity is the one men skip entirely

This is the area men ignore completely, and it is why so many of us struggle in relationships later.

Learn to handle anger without breaking something. Learn to take disappointment without disappearing for 2 weeks. Learn to receive correction from somebody who is right, even when the delivery is rude, without treating it as an attack on your worth.

Emotional capacity is what makes you safe to be close to. A man who has money, a skill and a network but collapses under criticism is still going to struggle, because every relationship worth having will eventually require him to be corrected.

This one has no shortcut and no course. It is built through repetition, feedback and honest people around you who will tell you the truth.

This is not an argument against marrying early

I want to be clear on this, because it always gets misread.

I am not against anybody marrying early. If you are confident that is your path and you have the capacity to carry another person, go ahead and do it well.

The point is priorities. Marriage does not fix a man who has no income, no skill, no network and no emotional control. It amplifies whatever he already is. So build the man first, and then bring him into the relationship.

Your decisions are yours to carry

As men we are judged by our decisions, not our intentions.

Good decision, good outcome. Bad decision, you carry it, and usually you carry it alone. Nobody is coming to reverse the years you spent on the wrong thing.

Your life is your responsibility. Choose the path that aligns with your purpose, and then work it properly.

If you are in that 18 to 24 window right now, start with area number 2 on this list, because a skill funds the other 4.

Start your digital skills journey on Click2Skill

— Elvis W.