Before You Chase Relationships, Build Yourself First
Build Yourself First—Then Everything Else Follows
One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned as a man is this:
Before you chase women, get your life in order.
We live in a world where young men are constantly fed the idea that success in relationships equals success in life. But here’s the uncomfortable truth: no quality woman wants to commit to a man who is lost, unstable, and unable to lead himself.
If you’re in your early 20s and your top priority is dating while your finances, mindset, and goals are in disarray—you’re focusing on the wrong thing.
You’re Not Ready to Lead If You Haven’t Led Yourself
Relationships require emotional maturity, stability, and vision. And those traits aren’t developed by chance—they’re built through personal growth.
Before you look outward for validation or connection, turn inward and ask yourself:
- Have I defined my goals?
- Do I have a clear vision for my future?
- Am I financially independent or working toward it?
- Am I building the discipline to become a reliable man?
If the answer is “not yet,” then that’s where your energy should go.
Focus on Becoming a Man of Value
When you take time to build yourself, everything else changes—including your relationships. The right people are drawn to clarity, purpose, and confidence.
Start with:
✅ Getting your finances in order – Learn how to earn, save, and invest.
✅ Improving your skills – Whether it’s digital skills, craftsmanship, or leadership, grow in areas that matter.
✅ Building a strong mind – Read, think critically, develop emotional intelligence.
✅ Creating a vision for your life – Know where you’re going and why.
The Right Relationships Are a Byproduct of Growth
When you’re stable, grounded, and driven, you’ll naturally attract people—including romantic partners—who align with your energy. But if you’re constantly chasing without building, you’ll only find temporary distractions, not long-term alignment.
Be the man you’re proud of—before you ask someone else to believe in you.
